The Ol’ Ball Game

Shawn "The Kosher Clemens Express" Clemens was one of the best Jewish ballplayers and one of the best ballplayers of his time w/over 400 wins under his belt. He had 100 perfect games with 27 strikeouts each in his first 2½ seasons. He was in the All-Star game in each of his MLB seasons of his career. He was always the starter in each.

But after his MLB record 30th season, something happened to his arm. He had already had a record of 1,154 wins, a record zero losses, a record 9,232 innings pitched, no saves as he has always been a starter, and a major record of 31,164 strikeouts (an avg. of 25 strikeouts/9 innings). His arm was badly hurting. He went to the team’s doctor in New York.

"So, Dr. Johnson, what has exactly happened to my arm?" asked the star pitcher Shawn Clemens.

"Well, Shawn, I am afraid that you have injured your right elbow," responded Dr. Will Johnson, the team’s New York-based doctor for the Yankees.

"Do I have any choices?" asked the Kosher Clemens Express.

"Yeah, you can have Tommy John surgery and sit out this upcoming season. You can have Tommy John surgery and end your career immediately. Or you can choose not to have surgery and jeopardize our career. Do me a favor?" said the doctor.

"What is that favor?" Shawn asked.

"What ever your choice is, just do kvetch about anything," Will told him.

"I think tight I have decided not to pitch next season by having Tommy John surgery this year, and you have my word. I will not kvetch," said Clemens.

"Great, come back tomorrow at 9:00 AM in the morning," replied Johnson.

"Okay, sounds great," Shawn said. He then left with his wife of 28 years, and a beautiful mother of three kids (Nathan Scott, 20 Rebecca Leah, 15 Jonathan Richard, 10).

One season later, he had started a new season after he completely recovered from Tommy John surgery. He threw harder than he ever did before. He fastball was timed at 110 mph. He had to refrain from the curve as those had hurt him to throw them.